I have found the cannot fail investment for the next fifteen years. Yes, it is true. You cannot lose. The fact that this article says that it cannot fail proves it is true. The most important thing to remember is the predicted bellowing of the boomers. Yes, the boomers will bellow incessantly at the demise, or diminishment of their "Nice Life." Frank Capra’s "It’s a Wonderful Life"’ and the Magic Kingdom are history. The predicted bellowing and whining are the basis of this investment strategy.

The first part of the strategy involves investments in cheese producers and cracker makers. Cheese sales are going to rocket. Ditto for the crackers. When the boomers start their whining, we will need large amounts of cheese and crackers to match the whine. Cheese and crackers have the additional advantage that you may buy these without the government being notified of your purchases. The government may come for your guns and money, but they will never know about your hoard of cheese and crackers. You may even buy stocks of companies who specialize in these products for further diversification. Another advantage is theft prevention. Money, jewels, and weapons are very portable, and easy to conceal. This is an incentive to steal your hoard. A thousand-pound wheel of cheese is somewhat difficult to steal, hard to conceal, and a no noser for cheese sniffing dogs. This strategy has the additional advantage of investment in cheese protection devices. You will need mouse traps for your cheese. Imagine having a monopoly on mousetraps in your area! Secure a supply now before others realize the potential.

The second part of this strategy involves the purchase of large quantities of ear plugs. This will be necessary to protect one from the inevitable whine of the boomers. Boomers are group animals, so their combined noise will be horrific. Visualize cicadas on hot summer night! Again, you may be able to further diversify your investments by buying stocks in this industry. Because of their compact size, many people will want more than one set of ear plugs. Convenience stores will always want an inventory of ear plugs. This strategy recommends the purchase of soundproofing products for the home and office. The initial capital outlay, and the expense of storage may preclude the actual ownership of these products. Fortunately, stocks representing this type of product exist. Not only does this give you further diversification, but you have the additional thrill of participating in the fluctuations of the stock market.

The third part of the strategy involves providing support services to the afflicted boomers and their families. We can start academies for the training and certification of counselors to assist boomers entering the uncharted waters of reality. Boomers’ families will need 12 step programs, and you can fill this market. Boomer counselor institutes can be sent up quickly. You should found a Boomer Counselor Accredation institute immediately. This will allow you to control the market, and facilitate the franchising of boomer counselor academies globally. The commercials will emphasize the pride and prestige that come with being a professional boomer counselor. This part of the strategy may be the most lucrative as it has infinite multilevel network marketing opportunities.

This strategy also guarantees that you will have an ample supply of cheese and crackers to eat, or trade for other basic necessities if required. The worst case scenario is that the infinite expansion of the quantity of money is continued infinitely over time. Should this occur, the price of a hamburger will be 75 dollars. It follows that a pizza will cost 200 dollars. Imagine how much your 1000 pound wheels of cheeses will be worth? The price of mousetraps could go to infinity!

Wayne N. Krautkramer onlypill@cox.net