This just in! Contract negotiations have broken down in the final session between management and the musician's union. Management is said to be firm on its efusal to increase pension benefits. Management claims that they cannot afford to give full retirement benefits to musicians with only eighteen months of service to the firm. Management also claims that retirees and their dependents should not have a right to free services from the company. The union claims that it just not true that the last two cruises had 80 percent non paying passengers. It was only 78.3 percent non paying passengers. Complicating the problem is the government. The prices of luxury goods and services are being forced down by government edict. Social workers believe that exposure to luxury may help build the self esteem of the entitlement recipients.

Another hurdle is the sex change on demand policy. Management claims that maintaining a sexually balanced workforce has become impossible due to this policy. The law requires the firm to have equal numbers of men and women. Additionally, the ratio of heterosexuals and homosexuals must be constant. With all these sex changes and sexual preference changes occurring, the firm is finding it difficult to maintain legally mandated ratios. The management reports that the firm owes over $15 million to the government in back fines for failure to comply with the sex/ sexual preference ratios. The government has deferred enforcing the fines until the firm becomes profitable.

Another hurdle appears to be the maintenance of the lifeboats. The union claims that the lifeboats are poorly maintained, and therefore unsafe. Management selected ten lifeboats, and put them overboard. Only four lifeboats sank. Management contends that the test proves that the majority of the lifeboats are safe. The union workers seem to be disenchanted with this argument. Management admits that maintenance has been reduced, but claims that the last union contract giving maintenance engineer's $340,000 per year made maintenance uneconomical.

The firm has tried to replace some of the lifeboats, but the last lifeboat manufacturer went bankrupt last year. It was discovered that their pension and medical liabilities exceeded the firm's assets by 17,000 per cent. They were unable to get new financing. Their bankers are currently in reorganization. It appears that the bankers had been making real estate loans based on overstated appraisals. The regulators have assured us that there was no wrong doing by these banks. It is standard trade practice to over appraise in a bubble. After all, how often do major economic contractions occur? Our truth is that we are will never be economic girlie men! Nor will we ever be economic manly girlies!

Management has informed us of an exciting internal challenge.There is an extrodinaryly high turnover in their supervisor and junior executive ranks. This is accompanied by a high cost of death benefits as the suicide rate continues to climb. Management is confident that ongoing negotiations with a foreign service center will allow management to subcontract basic management tasks. This will transfer these costs to a country where wages and death benefits are much cheaper, and the population is too high. Their trade ministry is very excited about the potential population reduction. They are waiting for a US. foreign aid bill to be approved by Congress. The proceeds will pay for the funeral homes, crematoriums, and cemeteries. Their trade ministry has graciously volunteered to recruit their family members to buy, and manage the funeral operations.

The company has assured its customers that their reservations are still valid. The last day of music will occur on October 1, 2004. However, the ship will continue operating, and management will provide Karaoke, bingo, and various parlor games. The ship’s social director is predicting a real turnaround in bookings as people hear about the Back to Basics theme for the new cycle. She feels that innovations such as the BYOB (bring your own bottle) are just the kind of details that will make booking a cruise on the Titanic unique. Group discounts are available for for Titanic passengers at all participating Zodiac dealers. "But wait.There’s more." Next month, all Zodiac purchasers will receive free delivery to their staterooms. A great price for a great cruise!

The spokesperson for the International Brotherhood of Navigation and Hazard Detection Engineers has just informed us that they will support the musician’s union. They will not be aboard for the cruises after October 1, 2004. Management has assured us that this will not affect the cruise schedule. They feel that people will become more aware of their environment once the music stops. Their social director is confident that October 1, 2004, will be the start of a new trend for the Titanic.

Just Breaking! It has just been announced that a major fraud has been indentified  in the San Deigo pension fund. The financial fraud is massive enough to force the City of San Diego, California into bankruptcy.http://www.signonsandiego.com/uniontrib/20040523/news_1n23pension.html

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October 1, 2004: https://onlypill.tripod.com/id14.html